3 WAYS TO LIVE IN THE MOMENT

Sometimes when life is hard and overwhelming we don't know what to do. Prayers go unanswered or circumstances leave us feeling helpless. We wonder where God is.

I have been in this position many times.  I try to live in the moment instead of projecting doom or lamenting mistakes.

But exactly how does one pause from life's stress and live in the moment? It was my son, Chris, who battled terminal cancer for 4 years, who became my teacher.

Chris at age 12, during his remission period

#1 GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO LAUGH

Throughout his long months of treatment, Chris became a master at snatching perfect little moments of joy. He loved pranks and I was always eager to be his sidekick. One day when Miss Mary, the housekeeper, came in to mop his hospital room Chris made sure that his rubber vomit was properly placed front and center. She tried unsuccessfully to mop it up and she threw her head back and laughed when she discovered it was fake. We all enjoyed tossing it around yelling “Ewww, catch!”

Chris was also fond of filling empty syringes with water and hiding them under the covers. Many unsuspecting staff members left his room a bit wetter than when they came in.

Of course, some days Chris felt too sick to play, but as soon as he started feeling better his old mischievous self would re-emerge. Sometimes we played a game we called “It Could be Worse If” and we would invent ridiculous scenarios and try to top each other. It went something like this:

 Me: Well, it could be worse if the hospital were 5 hours away instead of 1 hour away.

              
Chris: Yeah, and it could be worse if the hospital was surrounded by a minefield and you had to keep from getting blown up to get to your room.

 Me: Yeah, and it could be worse if while you were tip-toeing through the mind field you suddenly had to go to the bathroom really bad so you had to hurry up.

  Chris: Yeah, and then it could be worse if while you are running through the mind field holding yourself someone started lobbing grenades at you.

 We sometimes digressed into gross and inappropriate scenarios. Chris was a master at sound effects so he would create bomb noises or sounds reminiscent of someone’s extremities being torn off. I know it sounds morbid, but we always ended up laughing.

 Chris: And then, it would be even worse because you would only have one hand left to pick your nose with! 

To read Chris's story click here.

 Those adolescent antics were good therapy for both of us. If you are dealing with a sick or disabled child, let their natural playfulness help you stay in the moment.

 Jesus had a sense of humor too, you know. He really didn't see someone with a giant plank in their eye. (Matt 7:3-5) He really didn't want you to pluck out your eyeball. (Matt 18:9) He used humor to teach, and he would never want someone to feel too burdened to laugh.

 If you aren't into pranks or silly conversations, other ways to escape into humor include funny movies or videos. Dust off your old board games. Try You-Tubing animal antics!  Spend time with someone who makes you laugh.

 Our youngest, Jarrod, was our go-to guy for laughter. He loved to interrupt me in the kitchen to show me ridiculous videos of people falling. Just hearing him laugh lightened my heart. 

 Research supports the many benefits of laughter. It decreases stress hormones and increases infection-fighting antibodies. Whatever you are going through—that's good medicine! Even a few minutes a day makes a difference.

#2 GO OUTSIDE 

 If your health permits, spend some time outside each day. Connecting with nature helps us connect with God. Surrounding myself with His beauty is my favorite way to get out of my own head. Whether it is watching a butterfly in a garden, crunching along in a winter forest, gazing at leaves in the fall, or just a lunchtime stroll away from fluorescent office lights, time outside never fails to refresh me. 

PSALM 19:1 "The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands."

The author enjoying nature in her kayak

 I am blessed to have a canal behind me where I live, and the abundance of wildlife, especially the birds, is a great source of entertainment. The calls of limpkins and black-bellied whistling ducks wake us up each morning and I head out to my lanai with my cup of coffee. I often spot a great blue heron stalking along on his long legs or a cormorant diving and resurfacing with a fish in his mouth. 

 If you own a dog try walking him on a new route, perhaps somewhere less populated. When there is no one around, I allow my dog off leash for a few moments to chase a squirrel up a tree. There is nothing more in-the-moment than a dog bounding after a squirrel. Of course, my dog obediently comes back. if yours doesn't you may have a dog park nearby. It is worth the extra effort to witness pure canine joy.

 If you have neglected gardening or camping equipment in your garage maybe it's time to give them a spin. Not motivated? Perhaps a friend, spouse, or accountability partner can nudge you along. When I used to run marathons the hardest part was getting out of bed. So I ran with others who were training. Once we started I always found new energy.

The summer after we lost our second son, Jarrod, Rob and I sold everything and bought an RV. We left Florida for a while and went to the mountains of North Carolina. Our mission: to find as many waterfalls as possible. We had many sweet moments with God sitting by his thundering beauty. Nature helped us find the God whom we thought had abandoned us.

My husband, Rob, and our emotional support dog, Marley

#3 DON'T GIVE UP YOUR HOBBIES

 Many of us have hobbies because they give us a chance to indulge in something fun. I am never more in the moment than when I'm laser-focused on a tennis ball coming at me from the other side of the court. When I'm mixing colors to paint or playing with words I'm using different parts of my brain. I'm not firing the neurons used for worry, regret, resentment, and stress.

 Sadly, when major life challenges occur we tend to drop all of our other interests and focus only on the problem. This is especially true of caregivers. After putting the rest of our life on hold, we wonder why we are so depressed.

 The Lord gave each of us a unique set of interests and talents. To ignore them during hard times is to ignore God's gifts. As a matter of fact, that's when we need them more than ever!
         
 David used his musical ability to write both psalms of joy and psalms of lament. Remember, God doesn't expect you to be happy all of the time. Using your talents to express pain and sorrow are actually a form of worship. God would rather hear your cries than endure your silence. 

During the years of Chris's treatments, I turned my running hobby into a way to raise money for cancer research. I completed 6 distance events, traveled to beautiful places, and raised $40,000. The running kept me sane and the fundraising marathons helped me make a difference.

You don't have to run marathons, but you could let your imagination run a bit. Bring that crocheting to the waiting room; bring that sketch pad or that sudoku to Grandmom's bedside; take 15 minutes to meditate; take a break from grieving to do something that brings you comfort. And while you're at it find something to laugh about. 

Like me, Chris enjoyed arts and crafts. One day the counselors brought a paint set to his hospital room. He and his roommate were painting away when one of them accidentally spilled paint on his sheet. Well, before we knew what was happening they both decided to paint their linens! The result was two Jackson Pollock-style works of art. We hung the sheets on the wall and invited all of the staff and patients to our 'art show'.

And that's what keeps me going—the moments! That's what we remember — the moments. That's what we have right now in this life. 

Remember, laughter and tears are only a moment apart, but joy is eternal.

TELL ME ABOUT YOUR MOMENTS.

To invite Maribeth to speak at your event click here.