3 THINGS YOU CAN DO IF YOUR CHILD GETS IN TROUBLE AT SCHOOL

I spent more than 30 years as a classroom teacher. I have also raised three children and helped to raise a grandchild. When it comes to misbehaving kids you could say that I've seen every trick in the book.

What most parents don't realize is that the kids know how to work the system better than we do!

I'm writing today to empower the guardians, parents, and grandparents of kids who struggle. There are definite steps that you can take to steer your child towards a better educational experience.

1. Make sure that you have all of the pertinent information.

This is especially key if your child has a disability or a medical diagnosis. The Americans with Disabilities Act ensures that your child has the right to equal access to his or her education in the least restrictive environment. You have the right to check your child's file to see if he is being accommodated properly.

Does your child have an IEP(Individual Education Plan)? Is it being followed properly? For example, an ADHD child who has frequent breaks built into his plan is almost guaranteed to act out if this need is ignored.

Do not feel too intimidated to ask for this information to be carefully explained to you. That is what guidance counselors are for. Receiving a form to be signed isn't the same as having someone sit with you and answer your questions.

 Sometimes information may be presented to you in a conference room with 6 or 7 staff members looking at you. This can be very unnerving and it is not unreasonable to request a one on one with a teacher or faculty member that you feel comfortable with. If you are not comfortable with a teacher, you are within your rights to ask for a counselor or administrator to be present.

Is your child properly placed? I recently spent time in a middle school classroom where an extremely bright and fluent student was talking and ignoring the teacher. The teacher was painstakingly going over vocabulary that this child already knew. He was clearly bored, and I knew that I'd get a little stir-crazy myself under those circumstances.

Talk to your child about their schedule and their teachers. Are they getting in trouble in certain classes or in everything? Is there a bully, or a perceived enemy in the room?

2. Advocate as a Team Player

Teachers are teachers because they love kids, but they get tired and over-worked just like everyone else. They sometimes miss things or make mistakes. However, it is much more effective to work with them than to complain about them.

The greatest successes that I have had in turning around bad behavior were when the parents knew what was going on in my classroom and bought in. This involves work on your part, but isn't your child worth it? If the teacher has the child on a point system or behavior contract familiarize yourself with it. Talk about it at home. Set goals. Offer rewards.

If your child gets in trouble, and there is no class system, ask for one. The guidance counselor can provide models.

When a child knows that you and the teachers are working together as a team he is less likely to misbehave.

If you are uninvolved it's much easier for a child to play you and the teacher against each other. Trust me, even preschoolers know how to do this!

This brings me to my third, and most important point.

3. Make Time

If your child were sick, you would take a day off of work to take them to the doctor. So if their behavior is unhealthy, take a day off to observe the classroom. Let the teacher(s) know ahead of time and plan your strategy together.

Younger students will appreciate the attention, but older students, especially middle-schoolers, will be completely embarrassed. This can definitely work in your favor!

When your child gets in trouble it's tempting to just yell and send him to his room with no electronics, but that doesn't get to the root of the problem. Whatever communication system you have worked out with the teacher should be discussed daily with your child. 

Take this opportunity to praise the positive, and process the negative. Hold your child accountable, but do it with love. Expect progress, not perfection.

Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."

From time to time, there may be teachers that you or your child clash with despite your best intentions. Of course, unprofessional behavior should always be reported, but sometimes it just boils down to a personality conflict. In cases like this, don't miss the opportunity to allow your child to experience a real-life lesson. Sooner or later he or she will encounter that difficult boss or co-worker.

Remember, a child is a precious gift that God lent to us for a short amount of time. Don't shortchange your time together. Take back your power as a parent.

Psalm 127:3 "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward."

Are you having issues with your child at school? I'd love to hear about it. Perhaps you have a success story. I'd love to hear that as well. Please comment below.